Monday, July 17, 2017

Monday Mishaps: The Story of the Circle Sweater

Welcome to Monday. Monday's suck.  I spend most Mondays feeling....well...

Unfortunately, the crafting powers that be don't care if it's Monday.  Sometimes they just want to watch you fail and they will surely laugh in your face as you do.

In May, I had the idea to make Mom's birthday gift.  Keep in mind that this is the same mother who taught me most of the things I know about crafting.  She had always teased me about not making my first sweater and I saw this as the perfect opportunity to really give it to her.  So, I hopped online and found a circle sweater pattern.  This thing was so easy!  It was a circle!  With armholes! To which you added sleeves!

So I crocheted.  And crocheted.  And crocheted some more.  And I got to the part where the armholes were created.  And the pattern told me to leave the chains for the armholes for later. SO I DID.  Now, that was where I made my true mistake.  Leaving them was not what I needed to do.  But, that's what the pattern said.  So I crocheted and crocheted until this circle was large enough to meet the XL measurements.  I then used the previously made chains to try to figure out how the heck the sleeves worked.  I got those puppies added, slipped it on, and cried.

Let me help you picture this scene.  Here I am, all proud of the sweater I made.  I go to the bathroom to look in the mirror and I basically have two sleeves with a whole turtle shell thing going on. None of the sweater was at my sides or in front of me.  It was BAD!  Instantly, I turned into panic mode, tried to figure out what to do to fix the thing, and promptly hooked it on the handle of the laundry chute.  The more I tried and tried and tried to free myself, all I did was hook my turtle shell screw up to the chute handle.  I was attached.  I was going no where.

At this point, the man was wondering why I was in the bathroom for so long stomping in circles, grunting, and making some very ill sounding noises.  Bravely, he ventured to the bathroom and knocked on the door.  As you might imagine, my response was not very friendly.  Luckily for me, he braved his panic stricken, angry woman and entered the room to free me from this hellish contraption.  Luckily for him, he didn't laugh and tried to help me come up with a way to fix it.

There was only one thing to do.  So, I went to the bedroom and laid it out on the bed.  Then, slowly unwound all of my hard work back to the original center of the thing.  It took more than an hour to unwind all five skeins of yarn that had gone into this thing.

One thing they tell you when you start crafting is that as ye crochet, ye will frog.  What they don't tell you is that as ye frog, ye will sob.  A lot.

This has been today's edition of Monday Mishaps.  Join me next week for yet another recollection of the pain I put myself through for the hobbies I love.

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